Love Doctor: Kyon!
by Mistress Symphony
Summary: [Prologue] Haruhi decided to excite and show the bright side of S.O.S on White Day, so she decided to catch their attention by putting a Love Doctor stand. And who else in the sinister eyes of Haruhi is the man of the job!


**Title :** Love Doctor: Kyon?!  
**Author :** Meiko Kairi  
**Chapter Title :** (Prologue) Promotion?

**Main Pairing :** KyonxHaruhi

**Category :** General / Humour

**Rating :** For Teen(s) – T; May contain language or scenes that are sensitive and not suitable for our very young readers!

**Summary :** Haruhi decided to excite and show the "bright side" of S.O.S on White Day, so she decided to catch their attention by putting a Love Doctor stand. And who else in the sinister eyes of Haruhi is the man of the job?!

**Standard Disclaimer :** Suzumiya Haruhi No Yuutsu Does Not Belong To Me.

**Warning :** Probably some spoilers but not really spoiling...?

- - -

_Sometime in March..._

I slapped a palm against my sweaty forehead and sighed exasperatedly.

Oh yeah, you probably are wondering why I sweat when it's so freaking freezing? Easy. It's because of "that" person.

Every time "that" person shows up with a sickening bright smile it means impending and fatalistic doom to my tiny normal twinkle world—and to Asahina-san as well.

Who is that person?

It's obvious. She's no other than, the ruler of the Nation of Damnation: Suzumiya Haruhi.

Got the wrong answer? Man, you better go to a doctor cause you're in deep psychic trouble.

Anyway, if you could still remember what that idiot Taniguchi said back there at spring, Suzumiya Haruhi was a weird beautiful girl who never seriously dated anyone. Based on this, one can peacefully and confidently conclude that Haruhi never and doesn't care about "White Day", right?

Wrong.

Of course back then I thought the same way. But that was because I was then her unrecognized classmate who sat right after her. Nevertheless, much to my displeasure, after striking up a stupid conversation with her, my life turned shit that made me forcefully assist her making up her stupid club.

That time, the job of the club is to find Aliens, Time Travelers, Espers and Sliders and have fun with them. However, as the time goes by, I noticed that since Haruhi had innocently gathered them all and only waiting for the Slider to show up, celebrating all sorts of festivals and occasions became also the job of S.O.S.

And today is eleventh Friday of March—three days before March 14, White Day.

I rolled my eyes.

Going back to the stinky situation I am in, I find myself sitting at one of the collapsible chair inside the S.O.S. clubroom, drinking the heavenly elixir-like tea of Asahina-san.

'_Ah.' _I thought and indulged myself in it, as if tasting the tea is like tasting the Aphrodite body and beauty of Asa—

_Bang!_

I snapped out of my fantasies and saw a pair of clear hazel eyes glaring at me.

Tsk. So much for trying to forget everything.

"Kyon, are you even listening?!" she bellowed. She was squatting on top of the table and her face was uncomfortably close to mine, "How dare you, a mere member daydream when your commander is laying big plans for this brigade!"

I was about to open my mouth to argue with her but then she directed her gaze to Asahina-san and pointed a finger on her, "You too Mikuru-chan! How many times do I have to tell you that you should at least spill some tea?"

My poor Asahina-san cowered immediately at Haruhi's reprimand, hugging the tea-tray she used to serve us with.

"Argh, never mind," she directed her stare back at me, "Kyon you're so lazy! You know what, I've actually expected you to become the vice commander because you were the one who assisted me, but look! Koizumi-kun beat you! How shameful!"

I deadpan her. I'm not hurt at how Koizumi stripped me off my supposed-to-be title. Nevertheless I felt a threatening tug of my lips to smile for hearing directly from Haruhi what she had envisioned me to become. Or did she really? Because if she really did and all her wishes come true, then I could really have become the vice. Probably she said that just to irate me. Too bad it doesn't work.

Back to the topic, what makes me irritated is how can she say I am lazy?!

Hey Haruhi! Don't you know that next to the great goddess Nagato, the second most worked-out member here is me? Yes, I admit that all I want is to be lazy but I can't, seeing that the fate of the world is somehow resting at my shoulder! And let me tell you, unlike Nagato or Koizumi, I don't have special powers so that means my total effort and energy wasted is equal to Nagato and Koizumi's effort multiplied to hundreds or thousands!—All thanks to you!

Well, that was what I wanted to say at least for we all know except Haruhi that there is an unwritten rule in this bizarre club: She must not be aware of her powers.

"—that is why you look like a twerp Kyon! You don't exercise your body! So as a concerned leader, I am appointing you to do a job for the club this coming White Day!" she exclaimed and jumped like a kangaroo with her sturdy long legs then ambled to her desk to get her infamous marker.

She smiles smugly as she writes on the red-orange armband where she usually proclaims her self-proclamatory title. However this time, she didn't wrap it around her arm as she usually did.

She rounded around the clubroom, probably trying to create a suspensive atmosphere. After doing two to three rounds, much to my horror, she stopped right in front of me!

I gulped. Long time experience with Haruhi was trained and taught me to expect the worst, the weirdest, and the most humiliating act.

A sly smile came into her cherry lips while I hopelessly hold my breath and put up a tough face.

"I must warn you not to cry tears of joy because this will definitely move you."

I cocked a brow and before I could react more, she roughly grabbed my arm and plastered the title: Ultra Love Doctor.

- - -

**Author's Note :  
**_I've been wanting to create a KyonxHaruhi fic but I couldn't think of a plot. Finally, a plot bunny came and I excitedly wrote it. This won't be a long fic. I actually planned it to be a oneshot._

_So how was it? Good? Bad? Felt nothing? Share it with me._


End file.
